The most important answer first
There is no single correct number. Some people have sex several times a week, others less often or not at all for periods. All of this can be normal.
Figures from studies describe averages across many people. They are not a measure of how often someone should have sex.
Where frequency figures come from
Information about sexual frequency usually comes from large population studies. Participants report how often they had sex over a certain period. These measures therefore reflect recall and self-assessment, not every single encounter.
Well-known datasets come from long-term studies in Europe and North America. An overview for putting sexual health into context is provided by the WHO.
How often people have sex on average
Across all age groups many studies show similar orders of magnitude. Within relationships the average is often about once a week. Over a year this roughly corresponds to several dozen times.
What matters is the spread. Besides this mean there are many people who have sex much more or much less often, without that being pathological.
Sex frequency by age
Frequency changes throughout life. It is less about age alone and more about life circumstances.
- Adolescence and early adulthood: often higher frequencies, but also large fluctuations
- 30s to 40s: somewhat less frequent for many, often due to everyday life, work and responsibilities
- 40s to 60s: more stable patterns, sometimes more deliberate, sometimes less frequent
- Over 60: many remain sexually active, generally with lower but highly individual frequencies
What matters is not age but health, relationship situation and personal well‑being.
Differences between singles and people in relationships
People in committed relationships have sex more frequently on average than singles. At the same time many singles report very active phases followed by longer gaps.
In long-term relationships frequency often declines for many couples. That does not automatically mean less satisfaction. Closeness, affection and connection can remain or even grow.
Why frequency varies over time
Sex is not a fixed value. It reacts strongly to external and internal factors.
- Stress, lack of sleep and mental strain
- Physical health and medication
- Relationship dynamics and conflicts
- Birth of children or caring for relatives
- Hormones, cycle or life events
Phases with little or no sex are normal in many life stories.
The myth of a fixed ideal frequency
A common misconception is the idea that healthy couples must reach a certain number per week. There is no medical basis for that.
Studies show that satisfaction does not increase linearly with frequency. For many the quality of the encounter is more important than the number.
What research says about satisfaction
Studies on sexual satisfaction show that communication, closeness and consent are more strongly associated with well‑being than frequency alone.
An overview of sexual health and relationships can be found at the NHS and at Planned Parenthood.
When differing needs become a problem
It becomes difficult less because of low or high frequency and more when needs diverge strongly and are not discussed.
Distress, withdrawal or ongoing conflict can be signs that an open conversation or counselling could be helpful.
How to put figures into perspective
Numbers can spark curiosity but should not be used as a judgement. Every body and every relationship has its own rhythm.
- Comparisons often create unnecessary pressure
- Frequency says little about closeness or love
- Changes over time are normal
- Open communication is more important than statistics
Conclusion
How often people have sex depends on age, relationship and life stage, but above all on individual circumstances.
Averages can provide orientation but do not replace your own sense of what feels right and appropriate.
