Which position helps you get pregnant? Sex positions, timing and myths

What happens to sperm after sex

Ejaculation inside the vagina initially deposits semen there. Sperm that can move may then travel through the cervix into the womb and onwards towards the fallopian tubes. Fertilisation can take place there if an egg capable of being fertilised is present. Only a small proportion of sperm get that far. familienplanung.de: ovulation and fertilisation

Where the semen first sits is not the only thing that matters. Sperm movement, open fallopian tubes and suitable timing around ovulation are also important. A sex position cannot resolve problems along this route. For the differences between semen, sperm and sperm quality, read our overview of semen.

Gravity and penetration depth: is there anything in the theories?

Lying down is said to keep more semen inside the body, and deeper penetration is said to shorten its journey. These two common ideas are plausible as physical mechanisms. What matters, however, is whether they also make pregnancy more likely.

Gravity affects fluid but does not explain all sperm transport

Gravity influences the direction in which fluid flows. You may therefore see more fluid leak out when you stand up. Sperm do not simply follow a passive route upwards or downwards. They enter cervical mucus, the mucus in the cervix. Their own movement and contractions of the womb help carry them onwards.

A study in 1996 followed labelled particles the size of sperm from the outer cervical opening and examined wave-like contractions of the womb. Its findings support the role of the body's own transport mechanisms. It studied particles and transport routes, though, rather than pregnancy rates for different sex positions. Kunz et al.: transport through the reproductive tract

What this means: Less visible leakage does not automatically mean a better chance of pregnancy. You can also conceive in the cowgirl position or standing up. You do not have to remain lying down.

Deeper penetration does not automatically lead to more pregnancies

Deeper penetration can alter where semen is released inside the vagina. The anatomy is not fixed: a small MRI study in 1999 showed changes in the vagina and the position of the womb during arousal and penetration. It showed physical processes, but did not test whether deeper penetration helped conception. Schultz et al.: MRI during sex and arousal

A shorter initial journey to the cervix sounds helpful. Yet there is no proof that this results in more pregnancies when ejaculation is inside the vagina. There is no required penetration depth in centimetres. The penis does not need to touch or press against the cervix, and a smaller penis does not rule out pregnancy.

How much of an advantage could there be?

The available evidence cannot provide a reliable ranking or percentage. Having no evidence of a benefit does not prove that every possible effect can be excluded. To recommend a position, however, studies would need to show that it actually produces more pregnancies or births. Images of anatomy and less leaking fluid cannot establish that.

Practical advice: You can lie comfortably on your back or use a pillow if you like. You do not have to endure pain. Pick a position that feels good and focus on your fertile days.

Sex positions by name: the main variations explained

Many names refer to the same basic position or a slight variation. When discussing conception here, we mean vaginal sex; a position from behind does not automatically mean anal sex, for example. For the general process and differences between sexual practices, see How does sex work?

Missionary position

One person lies on their back while the other is above them, facing them. Eye contact and communication are straightforward. Leg placement and support alter the angle; body weight should remain comfortably distributed.

Doggy style

This describes a position from behind, often kneeling, with the person in front resting on their hands or forearms. The angle may allow deeper penetration. Let each other know early if anything presses uncomfortably or hurts.

Cowgirl or riding position

The person with a vagina sits on top, usually facing the person lying beneath. This often gives them good control over how deep penetration goes. The knees and thighs bear more weight, though. Comfort therefore also depends on flexibility, the surface and how you support yourself.

Reverse cowgirl

The person on top faces the other way compared with the usual cowgirl position. This changes the angle and physical contact, and makes direct eye contact harder. Move slowly and together when changing position. As with cowgirl, there may be more strain on the knees and thighs.

Spooning

Both people lie on their sides, one behind the other. The bed or other surface supports much of their body weight and movements are often smaller. This may feel more comfortable if you are tired or want to reduce the physical effort. You can adjust the position by moving your legs.

Seated and lotus positions

In a seated position, both people face each other and one sits on the other's lap. Lotus is a closer variation, often with crossed legs. It allows plenty of body contact, although some versions require flexibility in the hips and knees. A comfortable seated position does not need a specific name.

Edge-of-bed and butterfly positions

In these positions, one person lies near the edge of a stable surface and the other stands or kneels in front. Butterfly often refers to this arrangement with one person on their back, legs raised or spread. Height, support and angle determine comfort; the name is not used in the same way everywhere.

Standing position

Both people are mainly standing. Differences in height, balance and a secure hold matter more than in lying positions. Stable support can help; change position when it becomes tiring.

Viennese oyster

This usually refers to a missionary variation with the legs lifted high towards the upper body. It can allow greater penetration depth and needs more flexibility. You do not have to try it or put up with it in order to become pregnant.

Scissors position

The name covers different positions with legs offset to the side or interlocked. Some include vaginal penetration, while others mainly involve external contact. The name by itself therefore says neither exactly what is involved nor whether pregnancy is possible.

Coital alignment technique

This is an adapted missionary position where body alignment and contact are directed more towards external clitoral stimulation. It concerns making sex pleasurable, and is not a technique with a proven benefit for conception.

69

69 refers to mutual oral sex. It belongs to the range of sexual intimacy but is not a position for vaginal intercourse. Oral sex alone cannot result in pregnancy; sperm would also have to reach the vaginal entrance or enter the vagina.

Names such as monkey style, pretzel and spork are not consistently defined. Describe to each other the body position you mean. Understanding one another is more useful than knowing a long list of position names.

Which position works for you?

You do not have to tick off a list or constantly change position. One or two familiar variations that you can adapt to your needs are often sufficient.

• For less strain: Lying on your side may help because your arms and knees do not have to bear much weight for a long time.
• For depth control: A position in which the person with a vagina helps control movement and distance may be more comfortable, such as cowgirl.
• For eye contact and closeness: Positions where you face each other, with one person lying on their back or with both seated, often make this easier.
• For different heights: A stable surface, a change in seating height or a supportive pillow can make experimenting easier.

A position from behind is often suggested for a womb that tilts backwards. This is commonly a normal anatomical variation and is not usually a fertility obstacle on its own. If pain or endometriosis is also present, the cause needs attention. A particular position is not a treatment for it. Cleveland Clinic: retroverted uterus

You do not need a medical justification for disliking a position. There is more on arousal, communication and a gentle start in the guides to foreplay and the first time. If you are looking for comfortable positions when already pregnant, read the separate article on sex during pregnancy.

Orgasm, pillows and choosing a baby's sex: further theories

There are widespread promises about orgasm and what happens after sex too. These three do not stand up when their claimed benefits are examined:

Putting your legs up and a pillow under your bottom improves the chances

These routines have no demonstrated additional benefit. A pillow can certainly provide comfort; natural conception does not require a particular pelvic height or waiting time.

A female orgasm is necessary for sperm to reach their destination

Orgasm can cause muscle contractions and has been investigated as a possible influence on transport. This does not establish a benefit for pregnancy chances. An orgasm is not a prerequisite for conception, and you do not need to time it with ejaculation.

The position decides whether the baby is a boy or a girl

There is no convincing evidence that you can control a baby's sex through position, penetration depth or a specific sequence during sex.

The ASRM review discusses position, behaviour after sex, orgasm and sex selection together. ASRM: natural conception guidance

Timing: when sex gives the best chance

The fertile window includes roughly the five days before ovulation and the day of ovulation. Sperm may survive for several days under favourable conditions; the egg can only be fertilised for a short period afterwards. The preceding days are therefore particularly important. Waiting solely for what seems to be the precise moment of ovulation can mean missing useful opportunities. familienplanung.de: fertile days

A calendar offers an estimate, not proof of ovulation. The timing can change even with a regular cycle. Cervical mucus changes and LH tests can give further clues, but trying for a baby does not have to become a schedule measured in minutes. Read more about ovulation and LH tests.

For example, if ovulation is expected at the weekend, sex in the days beforehand may already be within the fertile window. There is no need to wait for Sunday or a positive LH test.

How often to have sex when trying for a baby

Having sex every two to three days throughout the cycle is a practical option. You then do not have to predict ovulation precisely. This is also the approach described by the NHS. NHS: trying to get pregnant

When targeting the fertile window, sex every one to two days is a usual recommendation. Daily sex is also possible when findings are normal; a longer period of saving up sperm is generally unnecessary. ASRM: intercourse frequency when trying to conceive

The important thing is to find a frequency that suits you both. Requirements before providing a semen sample or undergoing treatment are a different matter; discuss these with your clinic.

If every fertile day feels like a duty, you can make the plan simpler. Missing an opportunity does not mean you have got the whole cycle wrong. Nor does a delay in getting pregnant, despite good timing, prove that your position was unsuitable.

Lubricants: comfort while trying to conceive

Taking more time for arousal and using a suitable lubricant can help with dryness. Some products impair sperm in laboratory tests. Observational studies involving couples, however, did not show a corresponding overall drop in the likelihood of conception with lubricant use. Laboratory results cannot therefore be applied directly to a single use during sex.

If you need a lubricant, a product labelled for trying to conceive and tested for compatibility with sperm is a sensible option. This does not mean that it increases fertility. Avoid using saliva or random household oils as a supposed fertility trick. The differing findings are set out in the ASRM review.

If particular positions cause pain

You do not have to tolerate a painful position when trying for a baby. Reducing depth, changing position, taking more time or having a break may help immediately. Describe as clearly as possible whether there is burning at the entrance, pressure deeper inside or a pulling sensation with a certain movement. This helps with adjustments and any later examination.

Repeated or severe pain should be assessed by a gynaecologist. Possible causes include dryness, pelvic floor problems, infections and endometriosis. A different position may change the symptoms but does not replace an assessment. ACOG: painful sex

If pain, erection difficulties or ejaculation problems make vaginal sex barely possible, there is no need to try positions for months before getting help. Medical advice may be useful earlier. Sexual intercourse is not a requirement for sperm donation; for the separate subject of vaginal insemination, see the guide to the cup method.

After sex: lying down and semen leaking out

Fluid coming back out of the vagina after sex is normal. It may contain semen, vaginal secretions and sperm. The amount you can see does not reveal how many sperm have already travelled towards the cervix. Lots of fluid on the sheets therefore does not mean the attempt has failed.

You can remain lying down because it is comfortable, or get up because you want to do something else. When trying to conceive naturally, there is no proven minimum time you need to lie down after intercourse. Putting your legs up against a wall, placing a pillow under your bottom or deliberately holding fluid in is not required.

Research on resting after intrauterine insemination has produced different findings: a 2009 study found a benefit from lying down for 15 minutes, but a larger study in 2017 did not confirm it. This treatment places prepared sperm directly into the womb. These findings do not establish a rule about lying down after sex. Follow your own clinic's instructions during treatment. Custers et al., 2009, van Rijswijk et al., 2017

Later implantation is a separate process that takes place in the days following fertilisation. Standing up straight after sex cannot reverse it.

Can I go to the toilet after sex?

Yes. Passing urine after sex does not wash sperm out of the vagina or prevent pregnancy. Urine leaves the bladder through the urethra; the vaginal entrance is a separate opening. Urinating therefore does not empty the route that sperm take towards the womb. MedlinePlus: anatomy of the vagina

If you need to pass urine, go to the toilet. Not holding urine unnecessarily is sensible for bladder health, although urinating after sex does not guarantee protection from urinary tract infections. There is no reason to endure a full bladder because you are trying to conceive. NIDDK: bladder health

Burning and needing to pass urine frequently straight after sex are not dependable signs of pregnancy. If these symptoms are the main problem, the guide to bladder symptoms after sex can help you understand them.

Showering, washing and vaginal douching

You can wash the external genital area gently with water. There is no need to rinse inside the vagina: douching can disturb its natural flora and does not prevent pregnancy. Trying to conceive does not require a special cleaning ritual either. Office on Women's Health: douching

If you do not want a pregnancy at the moment

The explanation applies the other way round too: sex standing up, cowgirl, getting up, showering and urinating do not prevent pregnancy. There may be a risk without visible ejaculation as well; the article on pre-ejaculate explains this.

Emergency contraception may matter after unprotected sex or a contraceptive failure. Seek advice from a pharmacist or doctor as soon as possible. Depending on the active ingredient, an emergency contraceptive pill may be an option up to three or five days after sex; taking it as early as possible is important. A copper coil may also be an option for emergency contraception. Do not wait for symptoms or a pregnancy test. gesund.bund.de: emergency contraception

A reliable method is needed for protection in future. The guide to correct condom use addresses common mistakes.

When a pregnancy test is useful

A test taken immediately after sex cannot yet tell whether pregnancy will result. Most urine tests are useful from the day a period is missed. If you are unsure when yours is due, testing at least 21 days after the last unprotected sex is a helpful guide. Also follow the test's instructions. NHS: pregnancy testing

If you test early, get a negative result and your period still does not arrive, another test after a few days may be useful. The sex position, the volume of fluid that leaked out and a feeling straight after sex cannot answer this question. Read Am I pregnant? for more.

When to have your fertility assessed

If pregnancy has not happened, at some point assessing both partners is more useful than trying another position tip. For people having regular unprotected sex, ASRM gives the following guidance:

• Under 35: Assessment after 12 months without a pregnancy.
• Aged 35 to 40: Assessment after six months.
• Over 40: Prompt advice can be sensible from the outset.

This refers to the age of the person trying to become pregnant through sex. Earlier assessment is useful if periods are absent or very irregular, there is pain, or a known condition affects fertility. The same applies to suspected problems with sperm, erections or ejaculation. Both partners should be included from the beginning. ASRM: fertility evaluation

A semen analysis can be as relevant as looking at ovulation or the fallopian tubes. An assessment is not a verdict on your sex life. Its purpose is to find out whether a treatable factor has been overlooked.

A simple plan without pressure about positions

1. Choose one or two positions that feel comfortable and let you communicate easily.
2. Plan for regular sex without focusing every encounter on one calculated ovulation day.
3. Take dryness and pain seriously and adjust what you do instead of putting up with a position.
4. Do what feels right afterwards: remain lying down, get up or go to the toilet.
5. Get support in good time if pregnancy is not happening or sex becomes an ongoing source of strain.

Closeness can also happen without penetration or ejaculation. Not every encounter has to be an attempt. For a broader look at preparing for pregnancy, see Getting pregnant: what can help.

Conclusion

The theories about gravity and penetration depth have a plausible physical basis. So far, however, these mechanisms have not been shown to improve the chance of pregnancy. Choose a position you enjoy, have sex regularly during the fertile window and seek timely medical advice if needed. The depth of penetration, and whether you get up or go to the toilet afterwards, do not need to become a test of performance.